i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
