Please, let me fuck your mom
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am midnight drunk by noon
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
