WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
