just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
