I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
there is glitter all over my balls
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
