This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
