I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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