Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
