we have officially lost it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You pole danced in your parka.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
