So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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