There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
