Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
