We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
