She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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