Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
