Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
