I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
