I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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