I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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