Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
