His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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