Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
