when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
