he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
