weddingsv make me drug and hornr
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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