North Korea, Best Korea!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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