My hand turned me down
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You dont lie about slip and slides
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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