There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
