I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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