i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
