U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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