Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
