just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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