Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
