HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
