I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
