Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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