so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I love having hate sex.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
