Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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