Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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