I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
