People in love make me want to vomit
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
