It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
