I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
