"it" just moved
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he was CRYING into my vagina
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Drunk is a universal language darling
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
