They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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