Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
