Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
