His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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