He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
