Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
