its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
