i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
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