you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
